Should I stay or should I go: 7 questions that actually help

Here are the questions, in order. Sit with each one. Don't rush.

1. Is there abuse — physical, emotional, financial? If yes, stop reading and call a hotline. The other six don't apply.
2. Have I told my partner — clearly, kindly, more than once — what I actually need?
3. Have we tried real help: a therapist, a workbook, a weekend, anything?
4. Am I leaving the marriage, or am I leaving the version of myself I became inside it?
5. If nothing changed in five years, could I live with it?
6. What would I tell my best friend if she described my marriage to me?
7. Is my partner the problem, or is the problem something we're both feeding?

None of these questions tell you what to do. They tell you what's true. Decide from there.